So, my son and I survived a high-risk pregnancy that several doctors were certain would leave one of us dead. The pregnancy was hell on Earth, and my suffering wasn’t over. Two weeks after giving birth, the cesarean incision re-opened due to three large hematomas (oversized blood clots) that formed in my abdomen. My life again is endangered more so than before because this time I “saw the light.” Well, actually, I didn’t see any light at all. In fact, I became light, as in weightless, motionless, unaware and unwilling to fight for vitality until I noticed my boyfriend weeping his eyes out and begging God for my life at the hospital bedside. It was a moment of euphoria and elation like I’ve never experienced. It was calm and easy without worry or care. I always thought I would leave this Earth kicking and screaming, fighting to live life for myself and my loved ones, but no. Not this time. There was no time for a repentance prayer, and the comfortably light feeling of death was ready to take me whether I was ready to go or not. There can’t be any substance on Earth natural or man-made that creates the lightness I felt. I seriously did not realize what peril I was in until I heard the sobs of my boyfriend. The fight within me kicked in instantaneously. Suddenly, I was awake, aware, and metaphorically kicking and screaming to live. He was relieved to hear me speak, and I don’t remember what it is I said. What I do remember is later on that evening, the same voice that told me that I would survive gave me more conditional promises. Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, instructed me to leave 9-1-1. It was my intention to return to work full-time after my maternity term expired. The job was very secure, and I made good money with a lot of available working hours and great benefits. I took that instruction very hard. I didn’t want to leave the job I so much loved. I had friends, memories, and it provided stability for me having to raise my daughters as a divorced mother. Moreover, I acquired the job by divine inspiration to begin with. When I applied for the job, I had a sister in Christ with me pray over the application, and claim the job. I needed that extra prayer because my ex-husband was on the wrong side of law enforcement, even though I’ve never had a record. Anyhow, I couldn’t fathom why it is Jesus would want me to leave. He said if I left and moved to Phoenix (with my oldest daughter and mother), my oldest daughter will attend college, my youngest daughter will run track, go to 2016 Olympics, and attend Arizona State University, and my son will be taken care of for life. At the time, my oldest was in an emotional rut because she couldn’t find a job or attend college because I couldn’t afford to pay out-of-state tuition at the community college. My youngest daughter had become a high school track and field champion and I missed most of the meets because of the pregnancy. And my son, well, he was a newborn so I needed the job to raise him of course. The Holy Spirit also promised me a successful writing career. Just before I became pregnant, I had finished my first novel: “18 Years of Grace and Mercy: A Teenage Mother’s Testimony, Vol. 1” and was looking for a publisher, and researching the industry. It was never my intention to leave my day job to start a writing career. I discussed the divine instructions and promises that I received with my boyfriend. I told him we would have to move to Phoenix, Arizona. He replied, “let’s go.” He was (and still is) supportive. I also had to bring my father with me who became ill with advanced complications from diabetes. Needless to say, I decided to move across the country with a cumbersome load of responsibilities, leaving behind my hometown area where I was reared, educated, employed, and most of all, loved. That was back in 2011. To date: my oldest daughter works and attends community college full-time. She has her own apartment and doing well. My youngest daughter graduated high school and is currently a freshman at Arizona State University, on academic merit scholarships. If she makes it to the 2016 Olympics remains to be seen. Right now, she’s not putting forth the effort, but that’s a whole other blog entry. And my son, he was born healthy, but has global growth and developmental delays for which he is receiving services for, and may have to for the rest of his life. He is on the autism spectrum. Being home with him every day is much tougher than working for 9-1-1. My writing career has been started with two novels published (“18 Years….” and “The Pusher, the Prostitute, and a Preacher”), a website, Facebook, Twitter (@18graceandmercy), LinkedIn, Goodreads.com, and my own website http://www.TamikaTrammel.com. It’s not nearly what I (or anyone) would call a success, but every day that I am breathing is another opportunity to become more successful. So yes, Jesus Christ the Holy Spirit does keep His promises in spite of the sins I commit, I’m not always faithful to His instruction through church leadership, and I fall short every day of His glory. However, in spite of dark moments of despair even lingering regret at times, He sends messages through others that He hasn’t forgotten me, nor the promises made to me. I asked my boyfriend not long ago, “I wonder what would’ve happened if I stayed home?” He replied, “You would’ve died.” The Bible says in 1 Samuel 15:22 “…to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” Therefore, I am encouraged that what I’ve done is pleasing to Him, because I live in faith rather than substance. My faithful works will bring forth substance. My work will not be in vain. I will continue to be living proof that Jesus Christ keeps His promises.